Nausea the Monster

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I get very emotional when I discuss nausea. Any of you who do skype vape sessions with me can hear the tears in my voice when I talk about nausea.
I am crying now.
I was a championship fighter for my entire lifetime, and a dog trainer.
Never took a pill.. never puked.
I was Superman.
Things change!
After my coma, I was left with many issues. Spasticity, that makes my body twist in directions I am not planning on aiming! Pain that makes me shout out, and then publicly announce “hehe.. excuse me folks.. a bit of a cramp”
I have gotten over the self conciousness of a broken Gait as I walk..
But (the big but)
Every morning I wake up and forget the morning before… I think today will be OK…
but it never is.
I fall to my knees and cry daily..
At night Patty says “Honey, did you get your morning meds ground?”.. I love Patty with all of my heart and I comply.
If I fall asleep or forget… when I wake up it is too late.
I hurry in the morning to grind some herb, and vape a fast stem… if I wait to long…
Patty will find me.
A grown man…
A once famous champion… now a shattered man… on his knees… in tears…
“Oh God… why… I didnt do anything bad… please God .. tell me why and I will be good.. I swear… "
Patty walks in… " Oh honey I am so sorry”… My 115 lb wife drags my crumpled form into my wheelchair from it’s station on the floor at the toilet.
I am not embarrassed.. not humiliated at being an EX hero… now reduced to daily tears..
I am grateful… because without her help.. I would not be able to get myself to my meds to grind…
2 large vape hits, and the tears begin to dry…
I kiss my Patty.
“I am so sorry Patty… I am so sorry that this happens to me, and that you have to see it”
She doesn’t use weed… but she understands..
“I am glad your OK now Vito… tonight I will remind you to get the Daily Grind done for tomorrow!”

When I qualified as an MMJ Patient.. they qualified me on 4 separate criteria.
I was and am a fighter…
Pain…haha… bring it on!. I am not afraid.
Neurapathy.. Mind over matter
Spastic Convulsion… what the hell you lookin’ at??
but… Nausea…
Nausea you fucking Monster… YOU BEAST…
How I loath you…
I would kill you dead if I could… but I can not see you or touch you… and if you get too close.. I am powerless against you.

Now friends- you have read my true feelings about Nausea.
Anyone want to try to come up in here and take my MMJ card?

**NOTE: When I wrote this, I lived with a woman named “Patty”, so you will see her mentioned here. Now I stay alone, and it is my dog Rocket Man, whose snout pokes at me to get me up off the floor if I forget to prepare my meds.

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I feel you brother. All I can do is send you some love and a song

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Man, I am so sorry you’re going through this. I’m glad you at least have mmj to help you through :heart:

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Vito,

You are still a champion to me :flexed_biceps:t4::trophy: - even if you may not feel like it.
I admire your transparency and honesty about what you face.
As a young man who is still navigating his own health challenges; having to face in some ways being a shell of what I once was - I see strength in what you share and say. I relate deeply in my own way.

You are valued - what you feel is valid and we are all in your corner.
Stay awesome friend. :smiling_face_with_sunglasses:

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:+1: Hang in there, Vito. It is powerful medicine and the only thing that helped me during almost three years of nausea. :thinking: Even now I can’t gain weight but I know I will eat and you have to, too. Even if it’s a bag of donuts, get something down. Terpenes of gas and cheese work better for hunger than pine and lemon, IMO.

CR

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